Most of us talk to someone every day, therefore, as Ecclesiastes 5:3 says, “…too many words make you a fool” (NLT), or as Proverbs 10:19 says, “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable.” (NASB) What do I mean by bringing these verses up? Basically, the more you talk to people the more likely you say something that offends them.
To some degree, that’s just life. We’re all imperfect people, hopefully doing our best to get along with others. But it seems that we are living in an increasingly angry and easily offended world. While that’s too bad, it does give us more opportunity to exercise the principles that Jesus instituted in the Sermon on the Mount… “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.…” (Matthew 5:38-45).
Here are a few thoughts on what might help us react to times when we are offended. After all, how we handle being “offended” can make a huge difference.
1. Be cautious. Sometimes the best response is no response. James 1:19, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
2. Be calm. If you go looking for a fight, chances are you are going to find one. Romans 12:17-18, “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
3. Be clear. Think through what you want to say before you say it. Then make sure the words you use don’t create more friction. Take time to pray and meditate on what it means to be a “peacemaker,” since Jesus said that they would “be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9).
These high-tension moments allow the heart of who we are to shine the brightest. While we shouldn’t be looking for conflict and being offended (or being offensive), it will happen. Our goal is to lean on God’s directions to better handle those situations.
Take some time to reflect on how easily “offended” the Pharisees and priests were by Jesus’ teachings. But had they responded with more godliness, they may have been able to see more of the picture and even change their destiny. What about you? What do you need to do to mend an offended relationship? God’s word will help!
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