Sunday, June 21, 2015

The Impact Of Dad

Many social service studies recognize the importance fathers play in a home. With more dads either leaving the picture or being forced out of it, the impact is devastating. The US Department of Health revealed that 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes, 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes, 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes, 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes, 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. And 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes.

Although we know that fathers are more than a bread-winner, many underestimate the impact they have on shaping the attitudes in the home. In that same study, the US Department of Health revealed that children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school, and have a much higher probability of getting A’s in school. They have fewer social disorders and seem to have a better plan for their own future.

So it makes a lot of sense that Satan would work double time to get fathers out of the picture. From the very beginning, Satan pulled his best tricks out and convinced Adam and Eve that they didn’t need a father. Less than 10 generations later the world was so evil that God was sorry He’d even created them! Yet He longed to be the father of His creation, so He would adopt a group that He could demonstrate His power through and His plan for their life; a life free from the power of Satan’s temptations.

Abraham was blessed to be the one God chose to demonstrate His love and power through. Many years after that relationship started, God heard their cries for relief from the slave quarries of Egypt from the mouths of Abraham’s distant descendants. Now the time was right for God to powerfully demonstrate not only His ability, but His love for his children.

As God’s children finally crossed over into a land that would be theirs, a land where they could prosper and grow, He had them do something to help remind future generations to see just how much a dad gives his children hope for the future and confidence to face it.

In Joshua 4, Joshua relayed a command from God saying, “Go into the middle of the Jordan, in front of the Ark of the Lord your God. Each of you must pick up one stone and carry it out on your shoulder — twelve stones in all, one for each of the twelve tribes of Israel. We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future your children will ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' Then you can tell them, 'They remind us that the Jordan River stopped flowing when the Ark of the Lord's Covenant went across.' These stones will stand as a memorial among the people of Israel forever.”

God wanted the people never to forget what their heavenly father was willing and able, to do for His children. He wanted those men to carry those stones so that their children would ask them what those stones meant. I like to think that those men came back to that pile of rocks periodically just to be reminded themselves. See, each generation can be inspired by the ones before them. Those stories, those memories, and lessons of life come when there’s a dad willing to involve himself in the struggles of his children and lead them out of danger.

Paul gives some similar instructions to fathers in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” As the statistics seem to indicate when the father fails to be that anchor, the man that teaches his children how to succeed, how to endure, how to hope for the future, the children by default feel abandoned on something so essential in life – a defined purpose. And when they feel angry they act out in many different ways; many ways that ultimately destroy their own lives.

It takes an entire family having a healthy fear of God’s power to fully appreciate the promises he offers us. During Father’s Day, be sure to encourage a dad, either yours or anyone. Fathers need to be

Sunday, June 14, 2015

The Last Shall Be First

In 2000, Bruce Wilkins wrote The Prayer of Jabez, which is based on a passage nestled in the middle of the genealogical records of the tribe of Asher. It’s found in 1 Chronicles 4:9-10, “Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother named him Jabez saying, “Because I bore him with pain.” Now Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, “Oh that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my border, and that Your hand might be with me, and that You would keep me from harm that it may not pain me!” And God granted him what he requested.”

The book by Wilkins received quite a bit of scrutiny from many conservative Christians because of the apparent similarity to “prosperity gospel,” which almost suggest God OWES you blessings if you are faithful to Him.

While Ezra, who many believe to be the author of the Chronicles, points out that Jabez’s request was granted by God, it is clear throughout other places in the Bible that God didn’t owe Jabez prosperity, but that He was gracious to him. God’s graciousness is the theme for Jesus’s parable in Matthew 20 where Jesus shares a story of a landowner and the workers he hired for his vineyard. The story focuses on some of the laborers reaction to the grace and mercy of God. Similar to the older son in the story of the Prodigal Son, these workers are shocked to find out that those workers that were hired almost at quitting time received the same pay that they did.

The amount of pay wasn’t the issue, but the fact that those that didn’t work as hard received the same pay as those who did most of the work. Ultimately, this is a story dealing with desire to be recognized for our achievements or even perhaps being regarded as better than others. It’s for this reason that this story is so relevant to our own culture. We live in a time and place where fame and fortune are so valued that it seems there’s a no-holds-barred mentality when it comes to doing whatever it takes in order to be considered the best.

While bettering ourselves is commendable, constantly focusing on being better than someone else reveals a bigger problem within our hearts. Because at the core of the need to be better than others lies a potential problem of selfishness.

The context of the story Jesus tells in Matthew 20 comes on the heels of overhearing His disciples arguing over who will be better in the kingdom. Each wanted to be recognized as someone ultra-special in some way. In His attempt to help them understand that it’s not about what you have the makes you great in God’s kingdom or about what you achieve that makes you loved, He reminds them of His level of commitment to the kingdom. His sacrifice is what made the kingdom possible. Jesus paid the penalty of our sins on the cross. Although as we read Philippians 2, it seems clear that He wasn’t doing what He did to esteem Himself, but instead to esteem God.

Philippians 2:3-7, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant…”

Many of the jealousies and quarrels we face stem from a desire to be better than someone else; instead if we could master what the master modeled by reflecting on how I can best serve my brothers and sisters we might find a deeper sense of peace. Paul encourages Christians in Romans 12:10, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.”

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Have no fear

According to a consulting firm’s study conducted of managers and CEO’s, one of the biggest fears they have is addressing conflict. Although it seems like dealing with conflict would be one of the chief job descriptions of people in those kinds of leadership positions, they still dread it.

Their study summarized the top three reasons people avoid conflict.
    1) False assumptions about limited information,
    2) Mistaking determination for rigidity,
    3) Lack of confidence.
Most of these have to do with one party not understanding the other party. For many of the problems that we have with other people, the solution to resolving them may not be as hard as we think.

Avoiding conflict doesn't reduce tension; if anything, it escalates it. Issues become bigger, resentment grows, people become disengaged and feel powerless to solve their problems.

For business leaders, the profitability of their company may depend on them confronting problems within the company, but for most relationships, getting your way doesn’t determine the success of your relationship.

Most of the New Testament is written to churches or people dealing with conflict within a congregation. One group doesn’t want to accept the other for whatever reason. Ultimately, half of most conflicts are rooted in pride. For Christians, humility is what we should be striving for, not pride. By pursuing humility, we can actually thwart many “problems” we face.

The other half of how we perceive conflicts is because of fear. This too is a characteristics that we should constantly be asking God for strength in. Once we can focus on the big picture of whatever it is we’re facing, we may begin to realize that the risk involved in confronting someone may actually serve everyone better in the end. Yet few seem to stand firm in the face of fear.

Paul reminded Timothy that “God didn’t give us a Spirit of fear, but of power, love, and discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7). God reminded Joshua in Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Our job is trusting God to give us the wisdom and the strength if we’ll simply do the right thing with the right motives.

James says in James 4:1-3, “What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.”

Jesus gave us a great conflict resolution model in Matthew 18:15-20 where He walks us through the process of doing what so many are afraid to do. However, as we read in James, our motive for addressing a conflict is crucial. Remember that Jesus told us in Matthew 5 to just turn the other cheek, to let them win essentially. Paul echoed that same message when talking about “stumbling blocks” to the brethren.

When we “think of others as more important than ourselves,” we not only fulfill a Godly instruction, we can dissolve a ton of conflicts before they turn into something bigger. The motive then can be defined by what is best for the soul of all the people involved. Sometimes that means we may need to surrender our will to someone else’s, and sometimes that may mean we need to rise up and intercede for someone else who needs help.

It's ironic, when you accept conflict as an inevitable part of business and relationships; you wind up with less of it. The more confidence you have in God to handle disagreements by either instruction or the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the quicker you resolve them. Handling a conflict isn't the worst thing in the world. But letting one go unresolved can cause you big problems.

Is there a conflict you need to face? Follow the example of David against Goliath and face them with the confidence that comes from Lord. Jesus said in Matthew 5:23-24:
23) Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,
24) leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”