Kids today face unbelievable pressure to “fit in.” That pressure can cause them to do whatever it takes, even if they are afraid of it. For this reason, it’s important to be surrounded by “good” people for a purpose, just as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals.”
But regardless if you or your child has a fantastic spiritual infrastructure established or not, the pressure to not be weird is there. For some that pressure may lead them to talk differently, for others it may lead them to act differently. Sometimes it’s not just odd, it’s out right rebellious and wrong.
When I was in 7th grade, I fell in with some kids that proved to be bad for me. None of us appeared to be thugs or troublemakers, but there was a problem. One kid in our group liked to shoplift from a 7-11 down the street from our neighborhood. It wasn’t because he was poor the best I could tell, but looking back it was a way to prove he wasn’t afraid of the law. If he liked something he’d take it. Although I have always felt that I wasn’t very responsive to peer pressure, I can’t say that about this vice.
If he could steal stuff and get away with it, I could too. I never felt good about it but once I did it, I had been “initiated” into a “man club,” although there was no official club, but that’s how I remember feeling. I was afraid to stop because of how I felt my “friends” might perceive my motives for quitting–fear.
Like many sins, once I began to feel more comfortable doing little things I had a hunger for more things to steal. It got so bad that I would seek out places that would be very difficult not to get caught just to see if I could get away with it. It worked fine until one day a manager caught me as I was trying to teach a younger protégé how to be as good as a thief as I was. Fortunately, he called my dad instead of the law. It saved jail time, but cost me some beatings.
That event helped me see later on how powerful fear can be. I wasn’t afraid of getting caught; I was afraid of looking like I was afraid. The truth is that it’s not just kids that find themselves in a battle of fear, adults face it just as much. The fear of being looked down upon and considered a failure still ranks as one of the biggest fears people face. Bigger than snakes and heights.
We want so desperately to be accepted that we would jeopardize anything to get it. Some take it farther than others. Just consider Cain and his hunger for God’s acceptance. The fear of rejection caused him to go somewhere that he’d regret for the rest of his life. Sadly, God had told him what he needed to do to find acceptance. It was an issue of his heart. He didn’t need to kill the competition just change his attitude about what he was bringing to God.
Cain wasn’t the last person to seek acceptance from God and others. All throughout scriptures the story repeats itself with almost an identical outcome. Ultimately God wants us to humble ourselves and trust him. God sent his son to earth to show us what a person accepted by God should do, and it wasn’t what the Pharisees were selling. Jesus condemned them for their hypocrisy, which we discover the more we read about them that they were so worried about their reputation that they rejected God’s guidance.
Jesus said in Mark 7:6-8, “this people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far away from me. But in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the precepts of men. Neglecting the commandment of God, you hold to the tradition of men.” Perhaps we could argue how much of what they practiced was done out of fear verses pride, but there is a connection.
Our own lives can be filled with things we say, or do, or think because we want so badly to fit in. You may be reading this and have felt Satan’s grasp in your life to look a certain way, to think a certain way, or any number of actions that if you’re honest they’ve been done out of fear of looking socially awkward. Remember that God loves you and he has laid out a path before you that leads to eternal acceptance and his blessings, but that path is revealed through Jesus Christ. You are accepted by God; will you answer his plea to simply follow him and forget about what the world thinks about your choice?
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